Thursday, April 15, 2010

Christina's Campus


Boy! What a surprise! Who'd have thunk that so ultra-contempo a bunch of prison-designing architects as Agence Sauer Kraut would reference a piece of middle-brow Americana kitsch in one of their publicity pieces?

This is, of course, their prize-winning (they got Miss Congeniality, and an honorable mention for their effort in the talent portion of the contest, when they tap-danced while playing the glockenspiel simultaneously) attempt at student-warehousing. And how intriguing that they would insert the pathos-inspiring crippled chick from Andrew Wyeth's widely-reproduced, widely-despised "Christina's World." Were they suggesting an arched-eyebrow irony by juxtaposing the American maiden crawling through the corn? And that French girl gazing blithely on? What does she signify? Is she about to finish her sandwich, get up and finish Christina off, so that she can have their miserly-sized dorm-cell all to herself? What could these sadomasochistic architecturally-astute jail-wardens be hinting at? What kinky fantasies lurk behind those double-glazed windows, inside a structure that was clearly intended to be every bit as sexually-inspiring as the campus at UC-Irvine? It's all a bit Hitchcock, isn't it?

Monday, April 5, 2010

Good News For Post-Modern Man


Such good news!

They're tearing the building down and starting over!  Yes!

Ok, so it's not good news like that . . . but its good news just the same.

I've got the architect's name!  

It's Sauerkraut! (en Francais: Choucroute).

Ok, so it's not actually Sauerkraut, not Choucroute, but it's damn close. Given that today is, after all, Monday, when nobody in France goes to work much anyway — and it's  Easter Monday at that — the tastefully bustling offices of Agence d'Architecture Choucroute are closed anyway, so it wouldn't make sense to call 'em. Other than to leave a voice mail, of course. But, hey, be my guest! It's a free-ish country.

But really. Really! It's such really good news! You should see the proud papa achitect photoshopped-photos!   They just couldn't be more pleased with how their creation looks in photoshop, with all the wee li'l authentique pedestrian-esque folk nearby, and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon artfully  arrayed as a backdrop (there being nothing — NOTHING! — that an architect loves so much as using a prior generation's avant-ultra style, now in terrible ultra-disrepute, of course, as a backdrop to this new masterstroke of super-stylin' ass-whippin' genius-osity.  It's kind of like some medieval morally-instructive vision of Heaven (my latest design) and (yours, avec amber-tinted salad-bar sneeze-guard plexi-glas balcony-blocking poodle-catching patio panels, which might as well be in avocado green and harvest gold, you gauche retrograded gulag-decorating bastard) Hell.

More to be revealed, of course. But I couldn't help but share this good news for (post) modern man.